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I love you but…. June 24, 2006

Posted by queenofnothing in Sex.
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sometimes I just wish you would go the fuck away. Find someone else, get tired of me, just go the fuck away. Why? Cause there are thing and people that I want to do that I can't do with you in my life.

I know it seems harsh, but I've already gone over all the possibilities in my head. Divorce. Death. Trauma. Pain. Rebuilding. If anything ever did happen I would feel like total shit because of these thoughts.

Why can't we, as humans, seperate the sex from the emotion? I suppose that's part of what makes us human and not just another mindless animal.  

And really, this is all about sex. I could give you the names of at least 5 men and 3 women that I would love to get naked and sweaty with. Would it suprise you to know that one is your best friend? Probably not. Don't the wives always go for the best friend? It would suprise you to know that he made the first move though.  You would name the first one right off the bat but he's one I'm emotionally attached to so I have to save that one. But I just know, know deep down in my heart, that sex with him would be fabulous.  Some of the others you don't even know. Some are married, some are single. Most are big guys. Guys you wouldn't think I would look twice at but I do. I look and I imagine and I dream. Good lord, the dreams.

Just know that I love you and I really don't want you to be hurt or in pain, or dead but sometimes, I do wish you weren't here. 

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Comments»

1. Shhhh - June 28, 2006

Those are completely normal thoughts. (Or so I would like to think.)

2. lola - July 4, 2006

coming in a little late here, but YES… i do honestly believe that they are normal thoughts. you can love them to bits and then 10 minutes later wish they had taken a 2-year assignment in kuala lumpur.

i separated from The Husband for year, affording me wild, amazing sex. and then he came back. dammit. no more israeli brothers. sigh.


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